Owning Your Time: Reflections on Seth Godin

“We spend 2/3 of time answering email, going to meetings and doing our job. Our competition has figured out that they need to spend time doing remarkable art.” –Seth Godin, Medicine Ball session, Dec 9, 2011

Last week, I attended marketing guru Seth Godin’s Medicine Ball session. It got me unstuck, ready to rethink and focus on producing remarkable art in the world.

Before the event, my biggest ‘challenge’ or ‘excuse’ was that there wasn’t enough time in the day to produce my art in the world: to build a women’s leadership business, start a Bollywood dance company, and finish graduate school. The truth is: I OWN my time, I make choices about how to spend my time and ultimately what works of art get done done.

Timezones were invented 120 years ago and the notion of synchronization worked well in a factory-oriented world. Today’s connection economy is asynchronous, success is about producing remarkable art, presenting it to the world, and eventually people caring enough to pay for it.

Here’s my top four list of nuggets that Seth taught me about ‘owning my time’ to produce my art in the world.

1)   Set up your calls and meetings only 2 days a week. The other days are for your work, your time, your art.

2)   Have less meetings. Meetings don’t make decisions, leaders make decisions. When you have less meetings, more work gets done. Check out Al Pittampalli’s  “The Modern Meeting Standard” for more tips on effective meetings.

3)   Follow the 7pm rule. Why do we work past 7pm? We make rules to have lunch and shower, so when did it become optional to go home at 7pm – it’s the end of the day! Take the time you need to recharge and you’ll produce better art.

4)  Schedule hours per day for various tasks. Set a scheduled time each day for the work that matters most. Plan everything else around that precious time. Owning your time is about making time for the art that matters.

So get to work and OWN YOUR TIME! More tips from Seth are to come in my upcoming blog posts. And if you have other tips on how to own your time, please comment and share!

Pulling the Plug: How to Deal with a Toxic Client

My very first introduction to customer service came at age sixteen, when I was hired as a Sales Associate at a popular clothing store at my local outlet mall. I clearly remember sitting in the dingy, warehouse-like back room of the store with a few of my peers during a painfully boring orientation. The store manager was in the midst of drilling us about the company’s service policies and culture. The first rule we were instructed to remember was that “The customer is always right.” Suddenly, I was paying attention during orientation.

As a teenager who liked to talk back, my parents had assured me over and over again that no one was ever “always right”— least of all myself. My first job asked me to turn what I knew on its head. When a loud, obnoxious customer asserted that a certain item was on sale, when I knew it wasn’t, I stayed tight-lipped. When children destroyed a painstakingly-folded shirt display, I couldn’t ask their parents to control them. And when I offered my assistance to a customer, only to be ignored or scoffed at, I could only smile and walk away.

Of course, excellent treatment of your customer or client should be the goal of any organization. I didn’t think that my employer was wrong in catering to their customers. But catering to your customers to the point that your employees feel mistreated and undervalued? That, I didn’t like. For better or worse, our customer service-oriented culture often produces clients that are particularly difficult to work with, but work with them you must. Read on to learn how to deal with a few different kinds of toxic clients, without putting your career at risk.

The Overly Demanding Client

Perhaps you’re suffering a client who calls at all hours of the day and night, who berates you with emails, or who acts as if you only work for them. When handling a client who doesn’t respect your time or workload, it’s critical to set communication guidelines and boundaries. Make it clear through a polite phone call or email what your working hours are, and stick to them. Turn off your iPhone or Blackberry in the evenings so you won’t be tempted to respond to their emails, and make a point not to answer calls after your work hours have ended.

If the client respects your working hours, but still demands more work from you than your other clients, be sure to set deadlines and expectations with your client. Promise them that a certain project or need will be fulfilled by a date or time that you feel comfortable with, and don’t budge. Allowing an overly demanding client to set their own timeline, regardless of your schedule and demands, allows them all the power in the relationship. Keep the power on your side of the field by setting reasonable expectations and consistently meeting them.

The Wishy-Washy Client

Maybe you’re a graphic designer in an ad agency, and you’re dealing with a client who changes their mind about a particular slogan or design every other day. Their constant inability to make up their minds creates more work for you, as you have to re-work or redo a certain project each time they call.

Again, when working with a client who can’t get their facts or ideas straight, it’s important to set deadlines. Tell them that it’s perfectly fine if their ideas evolve or change, but that after a certain date, you can no longer make changes. Or, simply set a policy that no work will begin until their vision is final. Explain that this is an expectation made of all clients, to streamline work and to make the most of your time. Most clients will understand your desire to maintain maximum efficiency.

The Client With the Nasty Attitude

Some clients may respect your time and not demand more than what’s reasonable from you, but that doesn’t mean that they’ll communicate their needs in a pleasant fashion. Maybe they act as if you’re beneath them, since you work for them, after all. Or perhaps they never express appreciation or gratitude for the hard work you do for them on a regular basis.

No matter what kind of bad attitude or nastiness you may be encountering, it’s important to remember to remain professional, civil and calm. A snappy tone or a nasty return email won’t get you very far. In fact, the client may very well report you to your superiors if they feel (however ironically) “mistreated.”

To improve communication as best you can, learn who your best point of contact is. Does your client have multiple people with whom you could communicate? Is one of them easier to get along with than another? Try to work things in your favor by dealing with the person you find most easy to work with.

If you’re stuck with only one point of contact, learn which way is the easiest way to communicate with them. Are they terse and dismissive in emails? Try communicating over the phone. If an in-person meeting is possible, schedule them every once in a while, even if they aren’t exactly necessary. This way, they’ll be witness to exactly how charming, professional and easy to work with you are…and may tone down their attitude in the future. Taking them out to lunch or treating them to some light refreshments during your meeting may also go a surprisingly long way in achieving good will.

Don’t Be Afraid to Pass the Buck

If none of your strategies or coping mechanisms is working, it’s not wrong to alert your boss or superiors to the situation. It’s critical, however, to communicate your grievances in a way that doesn’t seem accusatory, vindictive, or whiney.

Complaining that “this organization is awful to work with!” or “they treat me so badly and they’re always so mean!” will sound child-like and unprofessional, no matter how true your statement is. If, on the other hand, you tell your boss that “I’d like your guidance in communicating with this organization. They frequently contact me outside of our working hours, and are often unprofessional in their communication. I want this client to be happy, but I feel unsure of how to meet their needs while not be disrespected” you will sound as cool as a cucumber (and far more than rational than one).

Ultimately, most superiors will be glad to advocate on their employees’ behalf, so long that it’s evident that their employee has strived to maintain a good working relationship with the client. So it behooves you, of course, to make sure that the client can’t make throw any unsavory accusations your way!

You May Be Better Off Without

Sure, clients help us get the bills paid, but to what end? Constantly sacrificing of your time, energy, and emotions may not be worth what your client is paying. If you have the power to drop a client whose toxicity is pervasive and ever-present, don’t be afraid to pull the plug. You’ll show the client that you refuse to be disrespected, and perhaps show future prospects what you will and will not tolerate. Standing up for yourself, in whatever way you think best, will never prove to be a wrong decision.

How to Survive: a Toxic Colleague

By Rachel East

I met Amber* long before I endured the perils of a toxic boss. We met on our first day of work during a day-long new hire orientation. She seemed smart, funny, outgoing and eager to buddy up with people at work, and this was fine by me because I was new and friendless as well. We began getting lunch together, g-chatting during our spare time, and even attending the occasional happy hour.

Quickly, though, my budding work relationship with Amber began to fester. She started showing up at my desk unannounced throughout the day, insisting on broadcasting every detail (sometimes even inappropriate sexual details) about her date the night before or about the woes of her relationship with her parents. Over lunch, she would laugh to me about writing up new posts for her personal blog instead of doing work and brag about watching TV shows on her iPod whilst holed up in her cube. Though her unproductive habits did not rub off on me, she was clearly a bad influence, the kind of colleague Forbes cautioned readers about earlier this year.

I could tolerate Amber’s lack of professionalism and distracting desk visits. I may not have liked her flippant, lazy attitude toward her job or her unsolicited ultra-personal ramblings, but I didn’t want to be the girl who tells on her coworker.

That is, until things got more personal. Months after we both started at the company, I made friends with a few other colleagues who frequently tagged along for my lunches with Amber. With a larger audience, Amber monopolized conversations, argued simply for the sake of arguing, dismissed almost everything the group had to say, and hurled thinly veiled personal insults at everybody. It didn’t take long for us to conclude that Amber was an attention-seeker who thrived off of being right, acting haughty, and taking advantage of others.

Working with a toxic colleague like Amber can be frustrating, draining and even destructive for your career. That’s why I’ve put together some guidelines for dealing with a toxic colleague. You’ll also learn of the effect Amber’s toxicity had on her career.

How directly do you work with this person?

The closer together you work, the more the behavior patterns will affect you. With regards to Amber, I had an easier time tolerating her negative attitude because we rarely worked together on projects. If, on the other hand, this colleague is a member of your team or someone you work with often, her actions will prove much more difficult to ignore.

Before you get to the point where you’re overcome by frustration, annoyance and exasperation, ask yourself a few more pertinent questions.

Is it intentional?

Sometimes, as frustrating as it sounds, people don’t recognize the problems that they create. Your colleague may not be mean or cutthroat. They may simply be a bit clueless or less adept at communicating. If you’re dealing with a well-meaning, yet frustrating colleague, try learning their communication style. If they send a confusing email with insufficient explanation, don’t get angry. Ask them for specific points of clarification. Approach this person face-to-face so you don’t have to discuss a topic of this nature solely via email. If their contribution to a project was underwhelming, consider having a one-on-one meeting to discuss some points together. The better you understand what makes this person tick, the more likely you are to know how to handle incidents in the future. Plus, your involvement may influence them in a positive way by helping them to get on the same page as the rest of the organization.

Of course, there are colleagues who are very intentional and purposeful with their toxicity. I learned from a member of Amber’s team that she had been posting degrading comments about her co-workers on her personal blog…the same blog she updated while she was supposed to be working. If you’re dealing with a coworker whose behavior is deliberate, you have another question to ask yourself.

Is it personal?

Some people, like Amber, are equal opportunity when it comes to who they demean, insult or take advantage of. If that’s the case then you won’t be the only person who has noticed. If your colleague is making work difficult for multiple people, consider coming together in a positive way. Just be sure to avoid sounding like a gossip when corresponding with co-workers.A casual, factual statement such as, “We’re putting a lot of effort into this project, and [Toxic Colleague] has hurt the team’s work more than contributed to it. I’m frustrated” will suffice.

But perhaps you’re dealing with the kind of toxic colleague who specifically targets certain victims, and that victim happens to be you. You may feel alone, helpless, and powerless to stop it, as no one else is witness to what you’re experiencing. You could even feel uncertain about reporting the behavior, as it may turn into a battle of opinions between you and her.

Should you report it?

Intentional or unintentional, impersonal or personal, it’s up to you to determine whether it’s appropriate to alert your colleague’s supervisor or HR about the behavior. If you’re dealing with personal attacks, bullying, or harassment, then highly consider telling an authority figure about the situation. Document it well and don’t get overly emotional or personal. Even if the toxicity was personal, don’t stoop to that level when speaking with her manager. Keep it entirely work-related. Explain how her attitudes and behaviors have negatively impacted your productivity. Make it known that you don’t find her behavior to be professional or conducive to a positive, productive work environment. A 2009 Harvard Business Review piece reveals that 66 percent of managers and employees reported a decline in their performance as a direct result of office incivility, so you don’t want your own quality of work to suffer at the hands of this destructive individual.

If you weren’t alone in your experiences, don’t go into the meeting solo. A group discussion with other people who have shared similar experiences with your colleague will lend credibility and weight to your collective argument.

Even if you aren’t dealing with an intentional or personal bully, you shouldn’t have to take on more work or be overly burdened by the shortcomings of your toxic colleague. Regardless of how well-meaning she might be, if she is creating more hassle, more work, or more frustration for you, then you have a right to alert someone to what’s going on.

Let it be known, however, that life isn’t always fair. Your colleague could walk away with a slap on the wrist and with the knowledge that you “ratted her out,” which could make going to work far more difficult. You owe it to yourself to do what’s in your best interest – whether that means reporting her behavior, letting it fly under the radar, or biding your time until you can make a move elsewhere. No matter what, don’t allow your career to be negatively impacted by one toxic individual.

Sometimes, flying below the radar is your best option.

Though it may seem counter-productive, waiting the situation out is usually your best bet. Ultimately I began avoiding lunches with Amber, and I suddenly became too busy to allow her to visit my desk for twenty minutes at a time. I became skilled at staying out of her way, and she eventually found alternate targets. Doing your best to dodge or ignore a toxic colleague may exhibit that you refuse to give them the attention they’re seeking, and that you won’t be affected by or react to them the way they want, either.

If you can’t ignore them entirely, limit your communication to only what’s necessary. Be as professional and courteous as possible. If and when a toxic colleague gets reprimanded (and then starts to point fingers elsewhere), it will serve you well to show that you never acted with anything besides professionalism and tact.

And remember, most of the time a pervasive toxic attitude doesn’t go unnoticed. In Amber’s case, she was fired before she’d been at the company a full year. It turns out that her team members had come together and reported all of the blogging, TV watching, and nastiness to her supervisor. In the end, no one felt responsible for her downfall. It was clear she’d brought it on herself.

*Name has been changed.

Light at the End of the Tunnel: Surviving a Toxic Boss 

By Laura Donovan

Having heard many horror stories about working for awful bosses, I consider myself lucky. At previous jobs, I didn’t always understand the rationale of my superiors, but when push came to shove, I’ve liked all of my managers a great deal.

Not everyone has such fond words for The Man. For many years, news outlets have explored the effects of the pervasive workplace issue of a toxic boss, who could potentially bring down employees and even contribute to physical and mental health conditions. It’s no surprise that bad bosses can make you sick, as they’re said to increase a person’s probability of developing heart disease or other illnesses. This summer, Hollywood made light of the universal problem by releasing box office smash, Horrible Bosses, which resonated with viewers regardless of the comedy’s mixed reviews. “To extent that there is a point, beyond sheer silliness — which is fine on its own, by the way — it has something to do with the unfairness of work at a time of high unemployment,” writes A.O. Scott of the New York Times.

Toxic bosses come in many different forms and aren’t always easy to immediately spot, but Jenna, a fashion buyer, had a textbook bad boss at her first post-college position.

“My boss was awful to me,” Jenna said. “She was a lot older than me— in her 60s— so she was not too fond of technology and did everything so much slower.”

Jenna’s superior’s old school ways were the least of Jenna’s problems, as she endured verbal abuse and was subjected to violent gestures on the job.

“When I did my reports perfectly using excel, she would take them and rip it up in front of me,” Jenna said of her boss. “She always called me names such as ‘incompetent idiot’ and ‘stupid.’ She also slammed the door on my face quite a few times. She also wouldn’t let me go out to lunch with anyone in the office but her because she feared I would talk about her. She made me come in an hour early, leave an hour late and come in on Saturdays sometimes too.”

The youngest child in a large family, Jenna acquired thick skin and high tolerance for criticism as a kid, but nothing could have prepared her for the psychological and mental abuse she faced at the office. The idea of interacting with her boss every day caused Jenna to vomit and faint at the beginning of the day, but it took a trip to the hospital for her to realize that she desperately needed to leave her job.

“I was so sick of it all that when I saw her [at the office], she made me sick to my stomach [and] I would run and throw up actually,” Jenna said. “Two mornings in a row I woke up, took a shower, and when I came out of the shower I passed out due to stress and thinking of having to go into work and getting the abuse. [My husband] rushed me to the hospital and they suggested I see a therapist. I was put on anxiety meds and that is when I knew I had to quit!”

Though Jenna’s supervisor was clearly awful, some bosses tear down inferiors and staffers alike more subtly. They can be controlling, condescending, micromanagers, volatile, verbally or physically abusive, pushy, impossibly demanding, arbitrary, passive aggressive, manipulative, etc. A dreadful boss may possess all these traits, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he/she is a bad human being, says Carla, a former employee of a hostile, perpetually angry boss who hovered over and lashed out at workers multiple times a day.

“Terrible bosses aren’t always terrible people. Typically they just do not handle stress well, and unfortunately may take it out on their employees,” said Carla, who worked as a receptionist at a university gym during college. “In my case however, Meryl Streep in ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ was a near mirror-image of the lovely individual I was working for.”

Carla refers to Streep’s much-lauded performance as fictional fashion magazine editor, Miranda Priestley, who works personal assistant Andrea Sachs to the ground in the 2006 film. Priestley tactlessly flings her belongings on Sachs’s desk, calls her “the smart, fat girl,” regularly presents the 20-something with unrealistic tasks, and doesn’t even bother referring to her by her actual name. Most of us would be ready to rumble under such a tyrant, but somehow manage to hold our tongues for the sake of career dreams or financial stability. If you stormed off every time a manager was unfair to you, both your resume and bank account would suffer. Here are a few checkpoints to help you maintain your position no matter how much of a nightmare your boss may be.

 Fight the urge to make it personal, and stand up for yourself

I once snapped at a coworker for shouting obscenities at me. Up until that point, I had ignored all his snide remarks about my cheerful disposition. When I finally got around to fighting back and calling him out on his disrespectful language, he smirked and said, “What took you so long?”

From then on, we got along swimmingly. When dealing with an abrasive, mean-spirited boss, you should definitely defend yourself to show that you have a backbone and are no one’s punching bag.

“Never be afraid to stand up to your boss, especially if you have a gut feeling that what they’re doing isn’t right,” Carla advised, “but be diplomatic. Also beware: Burning bridges with your previous employers may come back to bite you.”

Echoing the New York Times review of Horrible Bosses, Carla remarked that the Recession and its accompanying 9.1% unemployment rate could discourage workers from standing up to their bosses, as the security of a position isn’t as easy to come by right now.

“These concepts are even more relevant in today’s economy. For people reading this who may not stand up to their terrible boss at the risk of being fired and face the inability to find another job—think about your health and whether or not the job is work your sanity,” Carla said.

Remember your mission

A bad boss could very well break the spirits of employees, said University College, London professor and researcher Adrian Furnham in 2007.

“Having a toxic manager makes workers unhappy and incompetent,” Furnham said. “One of the major causes of misery is misery at work… is because you are stuck with [toxic management] for eight hours a day. It leads to low morale and poor productivity because people keep going absent from work.”

Before you allow a nasty boss to ruin your day, remind yourself that you have big dreams. You surely have many achievements in mind, so don’t let a ruthless superior derail your success or direction. They may zap you of joy and make you feel inadequate, but they cannot rob you of your dreams, so remember that you have an ultimate vision for yourself. Someday, you’ll no longer have to work with your awful boss, and there’s much more to you, your life, and career than your current position. Don’t let circumstances or your supervisors define you. Awful bosses of all kinds could drive you to want to leave an otherwise healthy office environment, but don’t empower them by abandoning your work. If you hit a rough patch, think of your long-term goal and know that your boss is pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

Carla, who worked for her screamer boss for a year, agrees.

“As an employee having a crappy boss, I learned it is important to keep to your values and always look at the big picture,” she said.

Maintain communication with your boss, whether in person or virtually

If your boss is horrible, you may want to keep interactions with him/her to a minimum. Resist the desire to become invisible around your supervisors, as this mechanism could stunt your professional development. Getting ahead requires lots of work, so stay in contact with your boss to give him an idea of what you’re working on. Depending on your style, you could make several short trips to the boss’s office a day or simply touch bases frequently via email.

An anonymous author of a BusinessWeek article on toxic bosses admits to consistently writing her boss so he won’t bother him (or her).

“I send quick e-mails throughout the day, especially during the boxing period,” the writer reveals. “He feels no need to call me if he gets a barrage of status reports.”

Remember: It’s not about you

It is normal to engage in feedback sessions and take instruction from management; but when the behavior gets inappropriately personal or emotional, remember that the flaw here lies with management and not with you. As noted by Harvard Business Review scribe Annie McKee, it’s imperative to recognize you’re not at fault for another person’s oppressive and toxic behavior.

“Do not let toxic people touch your self esteem,” McKee writes. “Their screaming, demeaning, cynical poison is about them, not you. Consciously manage your boundaries so the toxins can’t get in.”

Don’t play the victim

There are few things more off-putting than self-pity. You may be tired of taking hits from your meanie boss, but don’t make yourself out to be the poor thing. When bosses see they’ve wounded you, they may continue to target you. Such an attitude won’t help you grow, either, so if you’d like to move up, reject the “poor me” mentality.

“Fight the temptation to feel victimized by the tyrants around you,” writes McKee. “Victims feed the poison. Victims can not [sic] lead. Recognize and act on your personal power and resilience.”

Laura Donovan is a staff writer and editor for Levo.