Can graduate students and PYPs relate to each other?
By Laura Donovan
Every night before bed, I crave IHOP.
At the end of the summer, my roommate and I moved to an apartment complex across the street from the 24-hour breakfast joint. When we first arrived at our new residence, I jumped for joy at the prospect of having chocolate chip pancakes whenever I pleased.
Of course, timing is everything, and even the tastiest of pancakes aren’t so wonderful if you’re anxious about something. Last week, my roommate and her Georgetown sociology graduate school friend, Keith invited me to IHOP late at night, when they had finished their homework and were ready to socialize. I, meanwhile, had worked and bantered with co-workers all day and was in need of some shut-eye. Exhausted, I declined the offer but said I’d be happy to take them up on it over the weekend.
“You’re such an old lady,” my roommate quipped.
When one leaps into the professional world with a full-time job the change can feel instant (and drastic). You suddenly abide by a daily routine, must wear business attire to be taken seriously, and inevitably cut down on weeknight fun. Most of all, you need a bedtime to function. Why else would happy hour, which starts around 5 p.m. and ends before 8 p.m., take place so early in the evening?
Life as a PYP is centered on structure, establishment, and paying dues. Graduate school, while often more rigorous than undergrad, comes with a less defined schedule; and especially for law, medical, and business students, class schedules vary and aren’t always on the same 9 to 5 shift with which most PYPs are familiar.
Where graduate students and PYPs differ
While twenty-something age graduate students and PYPs may have different lifestyles, the bigger issue is that they don’t understand each other at a more fundamental level. My graduate school friends, for example, can’t see why I need to be asleep by 11 every night to feel energized for work; meanwhile, I don’t really get why they chose to take out loans for another degree when they could have started a career.
Jen Dziura of The Grindstone, a website about women and careers, exemplifies this lack of understanding but means well in her recentcolumn, “What I Wish I Had Known When I was 18.” Dziura opined earlier this summer that she wished she’d taken a less glamorous view of graduate school during her first year of undergrad.
“Later, I learned that a lot of masters programs are just finishing schools for people with rich parents. And also, of course, ways to delay the real world,” Dziura wrote. “Unless you specifically need a masters or PhD for an actual job that you have a reasonable chance of obtaining (clinical psychologist, social worker, professor, etc.), please don’t be a 24 year old who’s never held a job or run a business or had a client. It looks terrible.”
Dziura is far from the first person to knock on graduate students for seemingly running away from reality and burning cash. I’ve certainly held Dziura’s views on graduate school in the past, especially when graduate student buddies have visited from out of town and complained that I couldn’t take several days off work to show them around town. Long lunches, which definitely raise eyebrows at many offices, were the most I could budget.
“I can’t drop my daytime responsibilities to go sightseeing,” I told my friend. “It’s not like skipping class. I’d face serious consequences.”
Many have scorned the lack of structured scheduling that graduate student lifestyle holds. Popular sitcom “30 Rock” has joked that “grad students are the worst!” There’s even a Facebook page dedicated to the line.
Why graduate students remain in school
Of course, there’s plenty of credit to give to graduate school and its students—even beyond the benefits of higher education and expertise grad school can provide. Last year, New York Times writer Robin Marantaz Henig penned the extensive article, “What Is It about 20-Somethings?” to explore why people in their early twenties are taking much longer to advance and achieve independence than earlier generations.
Psychology professor Jeffrey Jensen Arnett calls this phenomenon “emerging adulthood,” which among other things was caused by, “the need for more education to survive in an information-based economy.” Graduate students aren’t all pursuing more schooling to “delay the real world” or because they have enough financial cushion to hold off on making money, but because they need an edge in the current market and, for the first time in history, they have the resources available to provide extensive higher-level education.
Unlike undergrads, graduate students don’t always have the privilege of picking their courses. Joey, an MBA student at George Washington University, has class once a week. On the surface, you’d think he hit the jackpot—but his courses take place from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Saturday when most people are relaxing or enjoying themselves. The university compiled his schedule for him, so he misses out on televised baseball games and Friday night social activity. Where graduate students can finagle schedule flexibility, it looks like their victory—but the commitments they make to a graduate degree take first priority.
How PYPs can be more understanding of graduate students
Occasionally urging a friend to sacrifice one night of sleep to hang out when not necessarily convenient is admissible in a friendship between a PYP and a graduate student—but until that diploma makes its way onto the wall and you feel like you’re leading similar lives again, it’s important to recognize that schedules differ, and finding an overlapping time convenient to everyone is the only way to go.
For the time being, I can have late-night IHOP excursions once a week— the very evening that Joey is unavailable, and my grad school friends are spent from the fun they had Monday through Thursday. Someday soon, we’ll be in the same boat again. My graduate student friends will have full-time jobs and I’ll have upgraded from green PYP to seasoned professional. Maybe then, when we all have similar duties and expectations to fulfill, will we fully understand each other and get back on the same wavelength.
Laura Donovan is an online editor/entertainment writer at The Daily Caller in Washington, D.C. and a wannabe New Yorker. A proud northern Californian and graduate of the University of Arizona, Laura left sunny skies, delicious Mexican cuisine, and dry heat last year for a high-energy journalism career on the east coast. Her work has appeared in Business Insider, The Washington Times, Townhall Magazine, and many other publications. She wants to be David Sedaris.
